LOL (humor)

Change is Good… If You Speak Computer Language

Change is good. WordPress is good. I love the fact that you can customize your WordPress.org theme any way you want. You can change the fonts. You can change the sidebar size. You can add cool plugins. And you can have ads if you want. Those are just a few of the many, many options!

Here’s the problem… I don’t know how to do those things. I don’t speak computer language. I just don’t get it. Ugh! Someone created a mystery language. A secret code. Words made up with signs and numbers!

But the only language I know is English. Why can I just say (type) “please move the header more to the right. Now, let’s try the font in blue. How about putting the social icons in the header area.” I would even say please and thank you.

I (stupidly) tried my hand at coding. But instead of manipulating the “coding”, I mutilated it. I watched in horror as my blog went bye-bye. I’m now on medication to help me recover from my heart stoppage. (FYI… Computer’s don’t care if you are sobbing uncontrollably, begging it to bring your blog back. It just doesn’t care.)

Hiring someone who knows this foreign language is expensive. And I can see why. Learning this language takes a genius! They know how to manipulate the signs, numbers and symbols to make your blog look beautiful and unique. I think these people have magic powers.

While I wait for my magical design fairy to fall from the sky, I’ll be saving my pennies so maybe some day I can hire a genius. Until then, I have my book “Web Design for Dummies” to read. It hasn’t helped so far. I looked for the book called “Web Design for the Sleep Deprived, the Memory Depleted, and the Technology Challenged DIY-er Who Can Only Speak English”, but they didn’t have that book in stock.

By Laurie|April 24th, 2013|LOL (humor)|2 Comments

Ever have one of those days when you didn’t feel like getting out of your pajamas? But then you decided you should probably clean the house? But when you were vacuuming, your nightgown got caught in the vacuum? AND in your panic, as you reached for the off button, you hit the turbo button instead? Now you don’t have a nightgown or a working vacuum?

Sorry Mom.

By Laurie|April 15th, 2013|LOL (humor)|0 Comments

It’s Better Blurry

When I hit 40, my eyesight started to change. Soon I couldn’t read the labels on medicine bottles. Then I couldn’t read the newspaper, and now I can’t see the computer without my glasses on.

I have wondered why, at that magical age, God decided to let our eyesight decline. After all, we are going to need to read about our AARP benefits when the time comes. We need to read the medicine bottles so we don’t mistake our Tic Tacs for our high blood pressure pills. And we certainly need to see the tags on new clothes so we can yank them off in our attempt to deny our bigger size. So why give us the need for reading glasses?

This morning I woke up with something in my eye. Normally I would just look in the mirror and remove whatever it was. Today, however, I had to put my glasses on and lean so close that my nose nearly touched the mirror. I looked. Then it hit me! God know exactly what he’s doing!!

What I saw startled me. No, what I saw DISTURBED me! I didn’t see anything in my eye… I saw wrinkles and lines around my eyes! OMG! When the heck did that happen?? Who is that woman in the mirror??? I jumped back, took my glasses off, and let my blissfully blurry vision return. Then I took a moment to let my heart return to its pre-traumatized state.

God’s got it covered, people. With blurry vision, the illusion (delusion?) of youth is still there. With blurry vision, you want to get out of bed in the morning instead on burying your head under the covers. And with blurry vision all the lines and wrinkles on your face are not really there.

Since my memory is not what it use to be either, I’m hoping the trauma of this morning’s discovery will get blurry too. If not, I may be needing to up my dose of ~~happy pills~~ Tic Tacs.