Tell me if this isn’t true. Or don’t. I like living in my own little world. 
Broken pieces of cookies don’t have calories.
Sucking in you stomach while standing on the scale will make you weigh less.
Vacuum tracks on the carpet makes your house look clean.
Laundry causes guilt. Let me explain…If you wash the clothes, then you have to dry the clothes. If you dry the clothes then you have to fold the clothes. If you fold the clothes then you will have to put them away. If you do all that then you’ll be tired and need a nap. And if you nap, then you’ll feel guilty for wasting the day. So don’t do laundry.
Clean dishes in the dishwasher is like a bonus kitchen cupboard.
Isn’t my world better? 
I especially like the bit about the additional kitchen cupboard!
I hate unloading the dishwasher! I won’t let anyone run the dishwasher unless I’m absolutely sure one more dish can’t go in. Ha!
Your world sounds an awfully lot like my world!
It’s a good place to be! ;D
Haha this is hilarious! <3 I love it.